time keeps running out..

today is teacher's day,
early in the morning,went to walk around the WHOLE of serangoon market place..then finally found a flower shop,bought 5 stalks of roses.

had ACES day workout..
quite retarded.
and i accidently dirtied someone else's shirt..
spoiled my mood too.
said sorry,but i think she still hates me
haha.

anyway.it was darn boring,i just kept stoning up at the sky,hoping it would rain.

and it did :D

programme had to end,and boy was i happy.
haha

time keeps running out..
now is 12.09 pm,later at 3pm meeting benjamin and nicole to study at changi.
think we staying there to mug overnight.
so
cya.

life is tiring.i sometimes wish i could just end it.but im such a coward.

when we go mugging..we do stupid..STUPID stuff
such as


the moon was so bright..


another painting i done..


i just realised that there is a pattern to my emo-ness
it occurs during 6pm and ends around 7.30pm
so dont disturb me during that period :D
can just ignore me,doesnt matter.i'll get over it.sorry though.

i think i should not make friends,so even if i emo,at least i wouldnt affect them.

i went in the art room,the three AEP teachers were all there.i accidently placed my stuff on my senior's prep board and messed up the positioning of the pic.my art tutor came and said:
"i spent so long to organize" but i just handed her the teacher's day card i made
then she said: " ok la, let you off"

haha
:D

we were supposed to have CT in the hall at 11.30am.
but there was a change in schedule.
starts at 12.30pm
so i went art room.i checked my HP,and i saw 1 missed call.
thus i return the call.
it was my classmate XINLI
i asked her whats the matter,and she replied that she needed help,asking me to come on down to the water feature in our JC.
so i went there.

then she and some appeared with a lady.
i didnt noe what was going on as my mind wasnt really processing.
she said something about fashion talk and stuff liddat.
i just agreed to anything she said.
then she told me to call on 3 other friends,thus i did.
nicholas and yanjie agreed to help.

it all came to me when yanjie asked what time is the talk and she answered 12.30pm.
only then i realised that it was during the assembly.
too late to back out.

anyway,we helped to model some G200 clothes,and the talk was very interesting and FUNNY.i wasn't that nervous as i was already stoning.
rather embarssing though,as i was so short.

the girls so attitude.hahas













i am a selfish creature
all i care is about my own feelings.
i walk out on my friends without thinking about them and how they feel
my very existence is a bane on those around me
i said sorry countless of times,
but i just keep repeating my mistakes
i should have walked this journey alone,as i have used to.

i have lost my will to fight on

life is tiring.
i sometimes wish i could just end it.
but im such a coward.
yes,indeed
a coward

tired..

today so busy..
morning 11am till 1pm have tuition.
then when i finished tuition,it rained..so i walked arnd at white sands

whole day painting..HAIX..aep return me my life pls..
i paint until sore eye ler..pity me leh..


these are what i painted..
they suck.





btw,they are all under the theme of "inner spaces"
doubt u've guessed it..

nvm
time to sleep

hmm,this kinda sorted out my thinking

You Are Agnostic

God? Religion? Maybe... you're just not sure. You're still figuring out your spiritual path... or figuring out you really don't care. You believe that no one really can know the true story about religion or God. So you might as well relax a little. You'll go crazy trying make sense of it all.

Are You an Atheist, Agnostic or a Believer?

Are you Depressed?

hmm.went online,did a survey

it was

Are You Depressed?

the asked me to tick those that apply to myself:

During the past two weeks (check all that are true):
You are doing things much slower than usual.
You are bothered by things that usually don't bother you.
You have had periods of feeling low that last for at least several hours.
You've had trouble concentrating.
Things that used to be interesting to you are no longer interesting.
Your energy level has been low.
Your future has seemed hopeless.
You have been preoccupied with death, dying, or suicide.
You feel like you've lost some confidence.
You are easily irritated.
You are afraid that something bad is going to happen to you.
You've been sleeping a lot more or less than usual.
You have lost or gained five pounds.
It is difficult for you to make decisions.
You feel like no one likes you anymore.
You have aches or pains that can't be explained.
You have been avoiding your friends.
You feel like you have nothing to live for.
Nothing seems important to you.
It takes a lot of effort to do the most simple of tasks.
You feel sad or blue.
You feel like a failure.
You feel more dead than alive.
You feel trapped in your life.
You feel depressed, even if something good happens.

***Your Depression Level: 100%***


You seem to be severely depressed.
You should seek immediate attention from your physician.
Depression can be cured - you just need to take the first step.


Are You Depressed?
http://www.blogthings.com/areyoudepressedquiz/
and apparently,i am 100% depressed...

uh oh..
thats nt good..

Art Elective Programme

heya peeps.
today
i wanna remphasize a point.
art is damn tough.

throughout the last week,it was filled with test and MORE test.
then on wed, had ART theory test.dont look down on ART man,i can tell you surely it is the most MOST hardest subject in my entire 17 yrs of my life.

damn stressed.
on friday,which is today,i overslept,so i rushed to sch,forgetting to bring my art materials.

haha
im screwed.
got scolded by my art tutor cos i owe her big time during UOB painting.
i think she hates me.
she also said that if i retain i might not be able to stay in AEP.

seriously..i dont even think i can live past to see my 18th birthday.
so i dont think that would be much of a problem.

losing control

dont know whats gotten into me these few days.

today,was supposed to go meet up with ben,nico and freya to go mugging.
but when lessons ended at 4.30pm,
i felt damn tired.

but still,i made my way to J8 coffee bean.

when i reached coffee bean,i told myself to smile
but my shoulders felt fcking heavy,even hard to breathe.

as i couldnt find a seat, the only thing on my mind was to leave and not be so extra.

i couldnt make up my mind,it doesnt seem to be under my control anymore.

after placing my bags.i went to walk around,as i thought it could help me relax abit.
but just didnt work.i walk here and there,even ended up at the supermarket,which i cant recall doing so.

i really couldnt organise my thoughts.i got irritated by the slightest thing,the music from the radio,the laughing and giggling sounds.

i wanted to just faint,as i know at least i can escape from reality just for that moment of unconsciousness.

i packed my things as i didnt want to make them face me and spoil their mood.
but i think that got them more worried.
im really sorry about today.
im fcking tired.
everything is out of control and time is just racing against me.

i dont want to retain,i dont want to.



Benjamin,Nicole,Freya and Germaine.
im really sorry

Are you one?

Ever wondered why life is filled with lies?

well.

life is filled with people,people are filled with lies.
thus coming to a conclusion that life is filled with lies.

get it?
nah?

well heres the definition of a hypocrite

1. a person who pretends to have virtues, moral or religious beliefs, principles, etc., that he or she does not actually possess, esp. a person whose actions belie stated beliefs.
2. a person who feigns some desirable or publicly approved attitude, esp. one whose private life, opinions, or statements belie his or her public statements.


do a self check.if you happen to fall into such a list,and happen to be my friend.dont be suprised if i tend to ignore you.

if i pretend not to be bothered by your hypocrisy,then that will label me as one.

think about it.
stop deceiving.

haha pardon my emo topic :)
just smth i wanna make clear off

*cheers to (true)friendship !

Water?

today, im gonna reveal smth DAMN embarassing...
are u ready?

dum*
dum*


>>>>>i cant swim<<<<<
LOL

loser right..
i know..thats why i finally decided.to learn :D

went swimmin with ben today
but b4 tt,we went TM to eat at long john's
then went to tampines library..SO many ppl mugging.. O'level & A'lvl.
in the end.we managed to get some seats as two malay girls dont mind sharing with us
:D
and the coms in the library..is damn troublesome.ben used arnd 30min to access the com,but still didnt managed to print in the end.haha.

then arnd 5+ went to TM popular to find some H2 chinese txtbk.but no stock
after which, we went to the swimming complex

at first,ben was telling me abt he is a lifeguard in trainee.
i tot he was joking sia.

then i tried to swim.TRIED.

3rd time was successful..but then i forgotten how after tht..
but i must admit,ben is a Really good coach.
from 6pm,try try try until 7~8pm

we went from the medium pool to the very deep pool..
there seems to be a temperature diff.i think its cos the combination of chlorine+pee = warm water o.O
i think i drank in quite alot

nevermind that.
then after tt,we both felt so hungry,so went food court to eat.

i know its only a small step in swimming.but i felt a sense of accomplishment
thanks to ben! lifeguard in trainee

Hi,meet my BEST friend emo.
everytime i feel sad or lonely,i know emo will be there fer me :D
so today was pre national day celebration.
the assembly was draggy.
then we went to the hall for performance.


as emo was too short,he had to sit on nadiah's shoulder to get a better view.
emo saw some relatives of his

and also a bunch of wushu ppl

it felt more like chinese new year though.

at arnd 11am,my friend,benjamin came all the way to NYJC just to help me out with something.
and im like wah lau,damn touched la.
heh.then after that,we went out with nicole to go nike warehouse sale.
it took a LONGG time to reach there *hint*

and when i was there.i was damn suprised to meet two of aqueo members.
haha,i always tried to avoid them but always bump into them.guess the world is small.
but they arent bad people.in fact,they are really sweet :D
just that, i dunno when they might start with the aqueo cheer again..
they helped me choose a pair of nike shoes as my brain was malfunctioning.Thanks!

after we left the warehouse,ben and i then went to makan at yoshinoya.
i found out that Ben was a damn damn damn cool guy.
i wanna make him my role model sia!!


now emo and i are back home using the net.Haha,i am damn happy to know that i've got so many loyal friends arnd me man.



i went jogging at arnd 7pm as i felt i was damn fat.
by the time i came back,emo was already sound asleep.
*emo sleeps like his goldfish*

zzZZ

*cheers!*
*cheers*

monday :D

yesterday was istana on-the-spot art competition.
went there super early.
erm.
security officer check our bags
mine took rather long
cos
my bag had ALOT of compartments. and she missed out 4

then found a spot
which miss lye supposedly said that there is lesser ppl here

but when we were painting,we seem to have attracted more attention than istana itself.
some comments on my painting: "eh the baby so cute"(heard this ALOT of times)

children most favourite comment"mummy/daddy, they do at home then bring here to COPY one"

and when we were going to submit at 11am,we were all running to the submission point,it was downhill.
just when i thought i avoided a crowd, a little girl suddenly popped out in front of me,and i crashed right into her.she started crying and my work was crumpled and abit torn.hope shes alright.

then was the performance by the singapore army something something.
its was quite entertaining,however,we NYJCians seemed to be the only ones engaged.

szeying,yanjie,sherling got MERIT
huimin got 3rd
and Xuli got 2nd

xuli cries easily btw,whether shes laughing or overjoyed

wahahhaha nanyang pawns!!



MONDAY.as usual.until we reached art tutorial.
before that,
i was lamenting to szeying
about how we still have to endure 4 hours of art.
but when we were at the art room.
ms lye suddenly announced
that we shud have a break and have a lunch party for ALL our hardwork!

we all thought she was joking
but then she really ordered pizzas and kfc
haha.then we thought for a moment if the meal was taken from our prize money.
o well.thanks teachers!!*cos its once in a lifetime

AEP are retards

recently, NYJC aep held tape art workshops for many students
before that,we had our own preperations.
and of course,we have our nonsense.

Lucy as Jack from Jack's Place
Sarah as Adolf Hitler

Andre and his Mistress :)
bet you girls wished you were that cat huh


red afro guy is damn popular!

cant get enough of him :D


AEP students at pasat malam,also marcus's first time being to a night market.
and the auntie gave him candy floss the size of his head or larger for $1
:D



we actually came from the same longkang,
however one day,there was a flood
we were drifting down the same stream.
but then andre kicked my cradle,so we ended up in different villages.
after many MANY years.
we met again

my longkang brother :D


things I do when im bored...