losing control

dont know whats gotten into me these few days.

today,was supposed to go meet up with ben,nico and freya to go mugging.
but when lessons ended at 4.30pm,
i felt damn tired.

but still,i made my way to J8 coffee bean.

when i reached coffee bean,i told myself to smile
but my shoulders felt fcking heavy,even hard to breathe.

as i couldnt find a seat, the only thing on my mind was to leave and not be so extra.

i couldnt make up my mind,it doesnt seem to be under my control anymore.

after placing my bags.i went to walk around,as i thought it could help me relax abit.
but just didnt work.i walk here and there,even ended up at the supermarket,which i cant recall doing so.

i really couldnt organise my thoughts.i got irritated by the slightest thing,the music from the radio,the laughing and giggling sounds.

i wanted to just faint,as i know at least i can escape from reality just for that moment of unconsciousness.

i packed my things as i didnt want to make them face me and spoil their mood.
but i think that got them more worried.
im really sorry about today.
im fcking tired.
everything is out of control and time is just racing against me.

i dont want to retain,i dont want to.



Benjamin,Nicole,Freya and Germaine.
im really sorry