Thursday, August 23, 2007

losing control

dont know whats gotten into me these few days.

today,was supposed to go meet up with ben,nico and freya to go mugging.
but when lessons ended at 4.30pm,
i felt damn tired.

but still,i made my way to J8 coffee bean.

when i reached coffee bean,i told myself to smile
but my shoulders felt fcking heavy,even hard to breathe.

as i couldnt find a seat, the only thing on my mind was to leave and not be so extra.

i couldnt make up my mind,it doesnt seem to be under my control anymore.

after placing my bags.i went to walk around,as i thought it could help me relax abit.
but just didnt work.i walk here and there,even ended up at the supermarket,which i cant recall doing so.

i really couldnt organise my thoughts.i got irritated by the slightest thing,the music from the radio,the laughing and giggling sounds.

i wanted to just faint,as i know at least i can escape from reality just for that moment of unconsciousness.

i packed my things as i didnt want to make them face me and spoil their mood.
but i think that got them more worried.
im really sorry about today.
im fcking tired.
everything is out of control and time is just racing against me.

i dont want to retain,i dont want to.



Benjamin,Nicole,Freya and Germaine.
im really sorry

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